by Free Britney at . Comments

When T.H. Gossip first heard that the amazing Kevin Federline had authored a confessional essay for the New York Post to commemorate the release of his debut album, Playing With Fire, we expected it to read something like this:

"Yo, yo, yo! What up, motherf&%kers! This is K-Fed. Holla! My album just dropped today, b!tches, and yo, that sh!t is so f%king tight! Damn. I got more hits than my n!gga Pete Rose and I drop phat beatz like I drop Britney's panties -- when she lets me out of the basement, that is. Yo."

Britney Federline

But, it turns out, Mr. Britney Spears has crafted a thoughtful and, at times, almost heartwarming piece, with surprisingly coherent writing... well, kind of. In any event, here's what K-Fed has to say about K-Fed.

On the media:
"I honestly think the media is a give-and-take. It's not that I can say, Completely f**k you. I could just only say, Halfway f**k you. But I know why they do it. It's because they're making a lot of money. I come from a place where people do a lot of things to make money. So I cannot be mad at them."

On being a writer:
"I like that real journalism. I like putting other people's words in a sentence and making people, like, their faces light up about it. Not frown. Light up."

On dropping out of school:
"I dropped out of high school when I was in the ninth grade. My head wasn't there. It's not like I was the worst student, either. Like, I could do the work, but I didn't want to do the work."

On how he met wife Britney Spears:
"I was in a club one night and some talent agent saw me and he was like, "I want you to be at this audition tomorrow." Went to the audition, got the job, wound up on the road. Do you remember LFO? That was my first job. That was her tour -- opening up for my wife, in the future, that I had no idea about. She was the headliner. A lot of people say I danced for my wife, and I never have. I mean, I maybe was introduced to her once. You know, I was 21 -- she was 16, 17."

On being America's Most Hated:
"I didn't realize how much people love to hate me! It's crazy."

On why he's rarely seen with his kids:
"I like to keep my private life private. You don't see pictures of me with my kids everywhere because I don't -- that's not me."

THG NOTE: When can we see pictures of Jayden James?

On his forthcoming autobiography:
"I want to do a book -- the book is definite. It will be a biography of my life until I met my wife, so people will better understand who I am."

On future charity work:
"I want to go to Africa -- I think it's a place where you can go and really, really help people and make a difference. And it's also a place I want to see -- I'm into the safari animals and all that stuff. I grew up watching the Discovery Channel."

On who he is:
"But I never have cared what other people think about me. Because I'm Kevin Federline, and that's it. There's no changing that."

by Mischalova at . Comments

Just when rumors of their romance had quieted down, Mario Lopez and Eva Longoria have seemingly let the cats out of the bag again. So to speak.

Yes, that is the pair dressed as a couple of supposedly friendly felines for Halloween, but we have our questions:

Beautiful Eva
  • Where was Tony Parker?
  • Where was Karina Smirnoff?
  • Who actually dresses in as boring a costume as a cat these days?

It almost makes Leonardo DiCaprio seem creative with his outfit selection this year.

Meanwhile, in a battle of sordid Saved by the Bell alums, the Screech sex tape still trumps any dirty Slater shanningans. But we've got our eye on you, A.C. and Eva.

We've also got our eye on Matt Lauer. He looks incredibly similar to Johnny Depp in this Jack Sparrow costume. Now THAT's how you do Halloween!

by Mischalova at . Comments

It's not enough that Brad Pitt is incredibly handsome. He also has to remind us of what a good person he can be.

Much Worse

Yesterday, the actor visited the Western India town of Lonavala, where he helped former President Jimmy Carter, his wife Rosalynn and other Habitat for Humanity volunteers build two new houses.

Pitt, who has been in Pune, India, with Angelina Jolie filming A Mighty Heart, arrived around noon.

During his visit, which lasted until sundown, Pitt chatted with the Carters and helped lay cement blocks.

"He was perfectly relaxed and didn't mind being photographed at all," local reporter Pranjal Bhujan told People magazine. "He did everything â€" he mixed the cement, carried it to the house, laid it on the bricks and then placed the bricks on the wall that was being built."

And all lazy Oprah Winfrey can do it hand out charitable gift cards. Sheesh.

Pitt also spoke with Aziz and Sadhiya Sheikh, who will own one of the houses he worked on â€" although Sadhiya Sheikh later told reporters she had never heard of the actor.

But her husband, a taxi driver was familiar with all the recent coverage of Brangelina in Pune.

"I know he is the famous American actor," Aziz said. "I was excited and honored that he and Mr. Carter were helping to build my house."

Pitt and Carter also helped out on a house for rickshaw driver Dev Aggarwal and his wife, who is seven months pregnant.

"I didn't know who Pitt was, but to have a famous man visiting your house is an auspicious sign with a baby on the way. It means good things are going to come," Aggarwal told reporters.

These people probably haven't heard of Brooke Hogan, either. Gosh, they're lucky.

by Free Britney at . Comments

What is Hilary Duff thinking?

Has she been inspired by all the other newfound brunettes out there on the Hollywood scene (Cameron Diaz, Lindsay Lohan and even new mom Britney Spears come to mind), or by her punk rocker boyfriend, Joel Madden? Or is it for a new role? In any case, Duff is looking rough... although we may warm to it.

Hilary Duff finds Catnip

The formerly blonde star darkened her locks to a light auburn shade earlier this year, drawing generally positive reviews from T.H. Gossip (before we asked if we could touch it and her people served us with a court order to quit stalking her).

But last weekend, Duff turned up at the Carousel of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills with dark, almost-black hair. While it's a little disconcerting to see our little Barbie girl / Lizzie McGuire go goth, we think the dark color really brings out Hilary's hazel eyes and porcelain skin. But that's just us. We take celebrity fashion very, very seriously.

T.H. Gossip asks you, fans: How do you like your Duff?

by Free Britney at . Comments

We don't mean anything dirty by that whatsoever. Get your perverse minds out of the gutter. Seriously, what are you thinking? Not everything pertains to sex and drugs, you know (our Lindsay Lohan section notwithstanding).

All we are trying to say is that this pair of Hollywood starlets loves its respective canine companions. Nothing wrong or suggestive about that!

Alba Buying Groceries

On the left, Jessica Alba and her boyfriend, Cash Warren, make a match in his-and-hers coats during a stroll with pup Bowie in Vancouver on Monday. The actress is currently in Canada filming the Fantastic Four sequel (which the lovely Vanessa Minnillo will also be appearing in, making it the best movie of the year already).

Back home in the states, the still-anemic Kate Bosworth and her pup Essa (which she adopted with ex Orlando Bloom) decide it's time to head home after a Sunday afternoon frolic at a Hollywood dog park. They had a blast, but Essa was probably starving. Kate? Apparently she doesn't require nutrients.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Hollywood couple Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are big believers in the second amendment. No, you idiots, that's not the constitutional right to marry someone practically your kids' age.

It's the right to bear arms, and they certainly take it to heart, keeping guns in their Idaho home to protect themselves and Moore's three daughters with ex-husband Bruce Willis.

Ashton and Rumer

Kutcher owns a Springfield handgun while Moore has been trained to use a deadly semi-automatic Glock. Sounds a little scary, but you know how nuts some fans are, and everyone has a right to protect themselves and their home. As long as they keep their weapons at home and don't take them to work, they're setting a good example. David Stern would be proud.

In any event, the guns are locked away at the couple's home in Hailey, Idaho, but are kept within easy reach in case intruders should appear.

However, Ashton admits to a more unusual reason for owning the guns -- keeping unwanted suitors away from his three step-daughters.

"There was this guy (15-year-old) Scout was dating and I'd carry the gun around at all times, just to give him a subtle hint," he joked.

As for whether he has been tempted to bust a cap in Lindsay Lohan, who he considers a bad influence on Moore's eldest child, Rumer Willis, Kutcher has no comment. But you know he's thinking about it. We are.

by Free Britney at . Comments

She's pregnant and definitely a lot less rich than her mom.

But Tori Spelling isn't letting either keep her down. She's lined up a new stint on reality TV that has been given the green light. Brace yourselves: She will star in a new series with her leering, porn-loving husband, Dean McDermott, as they choose a bed-and-breakfast in Southern California to buy and refurbish.

Tori Spelling Photograph

Tori Spelling has ;weo;hkqgoqierghbneon3vc2ddfaulkionqvgnoeiqnbobnoobidw4490f29hfhn48fphF'J'PJVR'VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Oops, sorry. We got so bored merely writing about the show's concept that we fell asleep at the keyboard. Yeah, this is bound to be a smash hit -- right about the time Lindsay Lohan decides to sober up and stop doing everything in sight.

The still-untitled show will air on the Oxygen network, with six half-hour episodes debuting next spring.

According to producer Randy Burbato, the couple "may be actors, but they're also very entrepreneurial. They wanted to create a real business."

Guess this is what happens when you get shafted out of half a billion dollars by your psychotic, evil mother. In any case, the cameras will also follow the couple as they prepare for their roles as expectant parents. Yippee.

The final episode of the show is expected to coincide with the baby's birth in March. Spelling starred in the scripted series Notorious, based on her own life, for VH1 last year. Did anyone even know that?

Come on. Is this really the best that TV has to offer these days? What is up with this snooze-fest? Who the hell is going to watch it? Where's the reality show that follows Kristin Cavallari and Lauren Conrad in their school/dating escapes? Oh, wait...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Viacom's chairman isn't finished with his former employee, Tom Cruise.

After dumping the couch-jumping, publicity-hogging, Scientology-preaching freak from Paramount Studios back in August, Sumner Redstone is going on the record in the December issue of Vanity Fair to explain his decision.

Tom and Family

"He was embarrassing the studio. And he was costing us a lot of money," the 83-year-old mouthy Viacom chief said, admitting it was his wife Paula, 47, who turned her him against Cruise.

"Paula, like women everywhere, had come to hate him. The truth of the matter is, I did listen to her," Redstone said. "His behavior was entirely unacceptable to Paula and to the rest of the world. He just didn't turn one [woman] off. He turned off all women, and a lot of men."

Redstone says that Cruise's off-color antics -- slamming psychiatry and ridiculing Brooke Shields on national television, firing his longtime publicist, Pat Kingsly, and mounting Oprah Winfrey's couch -- combined to orchestrate his professional demise.

"When did I decide [to fire him]? I don't know. When he was on the Today show? When he was jumping on a couch at Oprah, proclaiming his love for [Katie Holmes]? He changed his handler, you know, to his sister [LeAnne Devette] -- not a good idea."

Redstone estimates that Cruise's bizarre behavior cost Paramount more than $150 million on Mission: Impossible III -- the best picture of the three, in the old man's opinion, but the one that performed the poorest at the box office.

The experience, according to Redstone, is a good lesson for Hollywood:

"The explosion was good. It sent a message to the rest of the world that the time of the big star getting all this money is over. And it is! I would like to think that what I did, or what we did, has had a salutary effect on the rest of the industry."

Wow. Hope Suri Cruise isn't listening to this.

by Free Britney at . Comments

On what? We're not sure. But she has some nice legs. That's where we were going with that one. Yes, Kristin Cavallari knows how to give the people what they want.

THG NOTE: That's not necessarily accurate... at least not entirely.

Not the Worst View

But she does provide us many stellar pictures, so we are in no position to complain. Whether she's shopping at Victoria's Secret or advertising Bongo products, you can count on Kristin to hate on Lauren Conrad... and show off those killer legs!

While these images may not compare to her MySpace gallery, they are pretty nice. The first picture (left) is of Kristin at the Baume & Mercier 2006 Fall Preview event, and the second (right) of her at Red Pearl Kitchen Grand Opening. Kristin looking sexy? Check. Kristin showing off the legs? Check. Kristin needing to show off more than her legs next time? Check!

Alright, enough out of us. Check these Kristin Cavallari pictures out... and think about how much you'd like to beat up Brody Jenner right about now.


by Mischalova at . Comments

While Jon Stewart will not have an active role in the 2008 Presidential Race - aside from mocking the heck out of it - one man is exciting the democratic party with talk of a run:

Barack Obama.

Lonely Ben Affleck

The Illinois Senator may have seen his popularity nosedive during a visit to Los Angeles last week, however. Once there, he was joined by Ben Affleck at a news conference to promote California Proposition 87, the Clean Alternative Energy Act.

Having the support of Affleck isn't exactly a good thing these days. Just ask the Boston Red Sox. Or Jennifer Lopez (if you remember who she is).

While Obama seems into this hug, you gotta figure he's thinking to himself: Coudn't this have been Jennifer Garner instead?

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