Players Play, Bitches Get Served On Laguna Beach

This week in the real O.C., it was Cameron's birthday.

As the Laguna Beach player shopped for a new guitar that his parents were going to buy him, he chatted with his incoherent bud, Nick, about Tessa's annoying text messages.

Nick told him that Cam, who hooked up with Tessa on last week's show, was obviously just "shopping around for chicks," to which Cameron responded "Dude, what are you trying to say?"

Exactly, dog.

Season 2 hangers-on Jessica and Alex (a.k.a. Kristin Cavallari's friends who have yet to realize that they need to get a life and move on) met for lunch, where Jess 'fessed up that she was still hangin' with Cameron on a regular basis, even though he is still only in high school. Yes, Jessica, we can't imagine you hangin' with someone so immature.

Are you f*%king kidding me?

Cami, meanwhile, has a pow-wow with her friend Candance over Kyndra's "much older, on-again-off-again boyfriend," Tyler. The girls are sure Ty will end up breaking Kyndra's heart for the 573rd time, and the good friends that they are will have to say "we told you so."

Meanwhile, Kyndra heads to Tyler's house for a romantic backyard barbecue and Ty asks her if she wants to get back together. They seal the deal with some steamy kisses by the outdoor fireplace. Just so you know, Tyler could not be more creepy and unappealing, and if his stock couldn't drop any further, we see that he's pals with Jason Wahler. This guy eats it.

At Cameron's birthday bash, Cami and Jessica pretend to be friends for five minutes so they can rag on Kyndra and Tyler's doomed relationship. At the same time, the pair go out for dinner and argue when Kyndra brings up their age difference.

Tyler doesn't understand why she has to harp on the fact that he was 18 when they met and she was only 14. I mean, come on Kyndra. It's so not a big deal that he likes little girls. Geez!

Back at the party, Cameron and Jess were canoodling when Tessa shows up all ready to give the birthday boy some birthday lovin'. Obviously crushed, Tessa bails early. The next day she and Raquel commiserate on what a dog Cameron is, but Tessa calls him anyway to talk about their situation.

Then he dodges her call and leaves her waiting by the phone while he hangs at the beach with his buddies. We would have felt bad for her if we thought Cameron was any big loss... but really he's just the King of the Meatheads.

Mmmm. Steak.