Paris Hilton Charged with DUI

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See, it could be worse, Chevy Chase. You're just playing a famous actor that was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol.

Paris Hilton is now actually living that reality. Except that any movie she's made proves she's far from an actor. And we wish she weren't famous.

Fairies

Either way, the bimbo has been charged with two misdemeanors â€" driving under the influence and driving with a blood-alcohol level of .08 or higher, Los Angeles city attorney's spokesperson Frank Mateljan said.

Hilton is scheduled for arraignment Thursday at 8:30 a.m. in L.A., but isn't required to attend the hearing. The maximum punishment for a first-time DUI is a $1,000 fine and/or six months in jail. We're pretty sure Paris made that much from the sale of one sex tape back in the day.

"I'd be very surpised if she does any jailtime," says Lawrence Taylor, an L.A.-based attorney with 30 years experience handling DUI cases and stating the obvious. "If she pleads guilty, she'd likely pay a fine, attend DUI school and be on probation for three years."

Paris was arrested on Sept. 7 shortly before 12:30 a.m. for "driving erratically," LAPD officer Martha Garcia told said at the time. She had claimed she imbibed just a single margarita, proving only that she's a lightweight on top of every other negative quality.

We can only hope that when George Clooney is president, stupidity, promiscuity and drunk driving are punishable by stoning.

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