September 2006 Gossip Archive (Page 9)

Let us go on record:

We love Christina Aguilera. The beauty can actually sing, doesn't seem to desperately crave the spotlight and even married a kind of ugly dude.

We also love Fergie. The solo artist and front woman for the Black Eyed Peas kicked an addiction to crystal meth and is now speaking out against the drug. She also enjoys the occasional London Bridge. Gotta respect that.

But here's the thing: Only one star can be the true princess of the pop world. As you can see from the image below, each singer is trying to wear this crown. Literally.

Let us know, readers: Xtina or Fergie? (And, no, you can't vote for Brooke Hogan.)

Jessica Simpson just can't get enough of breasts. Chicken breasts, that is.

The Employee of the Month star plans to open her own chain of barbeque restaurants called "Daisy Duke's" in the near future.

Reports state the star will provide backing for the restaurants - which will feature scantily-clad waitresses in tiny hot pants, naturally - named after her most famous screen character from the film remake of the hit TV show, Dukes of Hazzard.

The first store is rumored to open in Las Vegas next year, with Jessica scheduled to make at least five appearances there. Hey, maybe Nick Lachey can stop by on his tour. The man loves himself some corn bread!

Who came up with this grand plan? Crazy Joe Simpson, of course.

A source told America's Life and Style Weekly magazine: "Joe's going to make a lot of money from this."

Phew. We were worried about his finances for a second there. Now, though, he may be next on the marrying list for Heather Mills. Take cover, Joe.

All of a sudden, that fight with Paris Hilton doesn't seem so important anymore.

Breaking news into The Gossip headquarters tells us that Lindsay Lohan is, once again, single. Harry Morton dumped her and her crotch of fire last night.

"Harry broke up with Lindsay yesterday at Chateau Marmont after they had dinner on the courtyard patio," a source said. "Nothing happened at dinner, but shortly afterward, he broke up with her."

But why, Harry? Was it the broken wrist? How lost Lohan became once her dominant, man-pleasing hand was made more useless than a plate of food in front of Kate Bosworth?

"She was too much drama," said the source. "Lindsay did cut down on the partying, but with her it's all relative. Harry is sober. It wasn't the partying that broke them up. She's young and a little bit immature. Harry's more low-key and not into the same stuff she's into."

THG NOTE: The constant sex with other men didn't help. Neither did Lohan's lack of a soul.

However, in a blatant lie record-breaking spinning of the truth, a Lindsay friend chimed in:

"No one 'dumped' anyone. You don't dump people when you're 20 and 25. You have a mature relationship and you take a break and you see what happens. Everyone does that."

Tell that to Shar Jackson! K-Fed kicked his baby's momma to the curb!

A rep for Morton, meanwhile, said, "I do not comment on his personal life."

Indeed, Lohan was spotted at Hollywood's Chateau Marmont on Thursday, running onto the patio where four of her friends were sitting â€" and weeping, a wad of tissues on one hand, her cell phone in the other.

"She ran in, sat with her group, put down her cell phone and cried to her pals," People magazine reported. "The group looked very concerned and listened intently to what she was saying."

At least her cell phone was spared, however. But what, dear readers, will happen to the famous firecrotch? Who will fan those flames now? We vote for Jason Wahler. He's single now.

But he wasn't involved in any sort of dumping, of course. People his age don't do that.

It's not very clear at this point. But here's what we do know about two of The Gossip's favorites:

Following a party thrown by Us Weekly last night, Paris Hilton truly threw it down. She cleaned out the rolodex with invites, as those in attendance included: Pamela Anderson, Courtney Love, Jeremy Piven and Dave Navarro.

But the arrival of the night belonged to Lindsay Lohan.

Perez Hilton is reporting the two got into quite a yelling match in front of guests. Many overheard Paris telling Lindsay that she had never hit on Lindsay's boyfriend, Harry Morton. Reports also state that Kevin Connelly, the Entourage star diddling Nicky Hilton, slugged Brandon Davis in the face - twice!

TMZ contacted Paris' publicist, Elliot Mintz, about the report. His response?

"I was at the party, I remember Lindsay arriving and them having a lovely conversation by the pool. They seemed to have gotten along just fine and only polite words were exchanged."

Uh-oh. If Paris and Lindsay make up, what will be our go-to celebrity feud? Brangelina vs. Abject Poverty? Mel Gibson vs. Non-Catholics? Sean Preston vs. The Fashion Police?

And the sky is blue!

And the Pope is Catholic!

And Nicole Richie is thin!

As far as shockers go, Tara Reid going under the knife doesn't exactly qualify. It is interesting to note, however, that she actually received a set of smaller breast implants, along some liposuction around her flabby stomach.

Not everyone can love their breasts as much as Janet Jackson does.

Such a procedure may not save her sagging career, however. The latest film from this awful actress, Incubus, managed to skip the Direct-to-DVD market and went straight to the Direct-to-Download industry instead.

But, hey, at least she's honest about plastic surgery. Hear that, Ashlee Simpson?

There's a lot of sex on Wisteria Lane. As the baby inside the tummy of Marcia Cross can attest to, there's also many romps in the sack for the Desperate Housewives themselves in real life.

But creator Marc Cherry has had enough!

Eva Longoria recently made an appearance on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," and explained the situation. Here's the actual exchange:

Ellen: You're going to postpone if you want to get married [to San Antonio Spurs star, Tony Parker] and start a family like in a couple of years? You can't do that while you're working?

Eva: Well, no you can - it's just difficult because our work schedule is so crazy and you know Marcia Cross is pregnant and so Marc Cherry came on the set and he was "like no more pregnancies this year ... they're really hard to write in."

Ellen: So you can't do it yet. How many kids do you want?

Eva: As many as God will give.

God? Or Madonna? The Material Girl did just say she's doing exactly what Jesus would do if He were alive. So talk to Mads, Eva.

We hope you're sitting down for this, readers: the new smash hit from Fergie is NOT about a bridge in London; nor does it refer to a nursery rhyme.

Evidently, "London Bridge" refers to a sexual act of some sort. Yes, Jack Nicholson would be proud of the member of The Black Eyed Peas.

The song, which is included on her debut solo album "The Dutchess," refers to when two women and two men have sex and form a position to make a "bridge." We're having trouble picturing that, too, don't worry.

Despite writing about the racy subject, Fergie insists she has never participated in the act.

"Have I ever been involved in one? No I don't think I ever have actually. No, no I haven't," the singer said. "But I'm definitely touching on issues that aren't childlike!"

Gosh, we hope Sutton Pierce Federline isn't listening in that case.

In the chorus of the song, Fergie sings, "How come every time you come around, my London Bridge wanna go down?"

The Gossip just figured it was our natural good looks.

A picture is worth a few hundred words, as they say. In this one, Nicole Richie and boyfriend Brody Jenner take the plunge on Splash Mountain at Disneyland, where the much-talked-about, extremely annoying 25-year-old celebrated her birthday. The lovebirds appear to be having a blast, but we can't say the same for the dude behind them, who was apparently taken aback by Richie's alien-like figure.

Brody looks really excited. Why? Because at the bottom of this exciting ride, there's food. And he actually eats, unlike his girlfriend (the recent, burger-gobbling staged photos don't fool T.H. Gossip). Sorry, it's been a long week, and we can't do better than that right now. But please, send us a comment with a better punch line!

Sandra Bullock has filed a lawsuit in to make sure she is alerted when her alleged stalker is released from a mental-health facility in Tennessee.

Thomas James Weldon, currently a patient at the Middle Tennessee Mental Health Institute, was hit with a restraining order in 2003, and must stay at least 200 feet away from Bullock. In May, that order was extended until June 2009, but the Michigan man may receive a 90-day leave this month.

Bullock's lawsuit, filed last week on behalf of her production company, Fortis Films, calls on Tennessee authorities to comply with a California court order requiring she be notified upon Weldon's release.

When requesting an extension of the restraining order, Bullock said Weldon had been stalking her from Michigan to Texas and California, sending her e-mails and faxes and leaving voice mails "indicating he wants to have a relationship with her."

Her lawyer said Weldon admits to suffering from schizophrenia. Fortis Films is not seeking monetary damages, but asks Tennessee to pay any costs to comply with the order.

Just another case of psycho peeps stalking the celebs we know and love. Once in awhile, however, the tables turn and crazy famous people like Tom Cruise stalk ex-ballplayers.

Kate Bosworth has a new hairstyle. During New York City Fashion Week, however, concerned friends and peers were focused on the rest of the actress. If they could see her, that is.

"She's so small, it's frightening," said one insider in attendance.

Another attendee added that, "She's always been small, but now she is really, really skinny."

It's hard to argue with that. Bosworth is starting to make Mary-Kate Olsen look like a hog.

Those around the star were left to wonder about reasons for such weight loss. The split with Orlando Bloom, for instance, was theorized by one source who said "she's emotionally and physically strained."

The 23-year-old actress' rep declined to comment on her weight, but Bosworth has spoken in the past about pressure to be thin.

"I think part of being an actress (is) that your body's your tool," she told Showbiz Tonight in July.

But since Bosworth hasn't filmed anything in more than a year now, some are hoping she will take a closer look at herself. "Every time I saw her," said the source, "I kept thinking, 'Please eat something.'"

We recommend some crazy pie. Stephen Baldwin has been downing it for years, apparently.