by Free Britney at . Comments

So the Gossip has seen portions of the Dustin Diamond sex tape, which we talked about yesterday, and can confirm that it is real... and not at all pleasant.

Yes, the former Saved by the Bell star, who warmed our hearts as the lovable Screech Powers, starts off the video in a bathtub, narrating what's to come. The tape ends with Diamond introducing one of the women to a "Dirty Sanchez."

If you don't know what that euphamism means, look it up. Online. Preferably at work, when your boss is expecting a report from you and is about to come asking for it.

Suffice it say, it is unbelievably graphic.

For now, you can watch the clips at TMZ.com. But you soon may be able to own this thing, if that's what you're into. David Hans Schmidt, who has become famous in the sex tape industry by peddling videos featuring Paris Hilton, Colin Farrell and others, claims ownership to the Screech tape.

It was shot in a hotel, with Diamond holding the camera and narrating, as he engages two women in various combinations and positions. He does not say if this tape is being made to raise money for his battle against foreclosure.

Schmidt is reportedly out shopping the tape, which supposedly has generated a good amount of interest. What's unusual is that some mainstream media companies are interesting in purchasing the rights.

Screech, you are a dirty, dirty man. Christina Aguilera has nothing on you.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Considering her recent DUI charges, let's at least hope Paris Hilton walked on a vintage clothing shopping spree last week.

Joined by sister Nicky, the duo headed to Sielian's Vintage Apparel in LA's trendy West Melrose shopping district. Once there, the Hiltons let everyone know just how rich and spoiled they truly were.

Ho, Ho!

Racking up $6,000 worth of the boutique's sexy form-fitting frocks from the 60s, 70s, and 80s was a good start. Paris set the tone as the older sister, purchasing 35 dresses from Sielian's immaculate collection of previously owned one-of-a-kind gowns.

That's like two more articles of clothing that guys rival Lindsay Lohan pleasured the night before.

The shop, owned by Sielian Lie and Tsutomu Carton, has been opened for just one month, but is already a hot spot for Hollywood's hippest trendsetters.

Everyone from Keira Knightley to the Olsen Twins are coming in to check out the store's latest finds.

A source told TMZ.com that the sisters were very polite. Unless you mentioned Nick Carter to Paris, of course.

While on their retail rendezvous, Paris received at least a half dozen calls, while Nicky continuously emailed friends on her blackberry.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

If there was any sizzle left in the alleged feud between pop stars Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, it appears to have been put to bed.

The Gossip has learned that Christina took the high road and purchased a $570 gift bag for Sutton Pierce, the second little bundle of love Britney brought into this world recently.

A Spears Smile

The bag of goodies, according to MSNBC, includes a hooded towel, overalls, slippers, and a crockery set… though we're not entirely sure what a two-week-old child needs with a crockery set. This is one of those gifts that's more for the parents â€" we all know Kevin Federline's career is a crock.

[Ba-dum-ching!]

The gifts will make a nice addition to the lavish room Sutton Pierce shares with his older brother, Sean Preston, which reportedly cost the Federlines $100,000 to redecorate in blue with nautical themes and a large SPF â€" the initials of both tykes (and perhaps a subtle reminder to always use sunblock?) â€" stenciled on the wall.

"Britney worked with two designers to make the nursery state of the art," said a friend of hers.

"She told the decorators to spare no expense. She's indulging herself and her new son. This is definitely the most joyous time of her life."

The most joyous time of our lives? When we saw this Britney Spears picture.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Jessica Simpson cheated on Nick Lachey.

Gas prices are out of control.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Poster

And Screech from Saved by the Bell has made an elicit sex tape.

Yes, folks, there are numerous problems in the world today, but fans of the James Bond film series only care about one of them: who the heck is Daniel Craig to take on the role of 007 is the next installment, Casino Royale?!?

The actor is trying to quiet the fears of this worried group, however.

"All I can say is there are millions of fans, and I don't want to let them down. I've worked my butt off for this movie. I'm not going to foul it up," Craig told Parade magazine.

Craig may be the first non-brunette Bond, but he definitely has one thing in common with the super agent: love from the ladies. He's currently dating film producer Satsuki Mitchell, but has been linked the past to hotties such as Kate Moss and Sienna Miller.

One noticeable difference in this 007, though? He won't be lighting up. Producers didn't want to send a wrong message to kids and Craig had no issue with the change.

"I can blow off someone's head at close range and splatter blood, but I can't light a good Cuban (cigar)," he noted.

Not even James Bond can do it all, readers. He's no Lance Armstrong.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

... from that red-headed skank.

Okay, we may have added that part, but you know Harry Morton was thinking it, right? The expert on pink tacos recently talked with Extra about his break up with Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan, Ghost

"We're just sort of taking a little breather right now and slowing things down," the restaurateur said. "A lot of people started saying we're engaged. It put a lot of pressure on things. … We need a little space."

And Lohan needs a little sexin'. Anyone know where Bam Margera is?

Morton also said he'd had a hard time dealing with being in such a high-profile relationship.

"The media getting involved always makes it more difficult," he said. "I'm a very private person. I'm sure she has dealt with it for years, (but it) puts a lot of pressure on me."

In a moment of complete dishonesty honesty Harry said of Lohan: "I have nothing but the utmost respect for her."

As People magazine reported last week, Linsday was seen sobbing and talking on her cell phone after a Sept. 21 chat with Morton at West Hollywood's Chateau Marmont. Sources close to the pair said that Morton had dumped her, in spite of Lohan's efforts to cut down on partying.

Two nights later the pair was seen talking briefly at L.A.'s Hyde Lounge, though Morton left alone.

The next day, eyewitnesses saw Lohan and Stavros Niarchos (her former flame and ex-boyfriend of her rival, Paris Hilton) at the Dragonfly club, with, says one observer, "fingers interlocked … sharing kisses on the lips."

But other sources say she was just trying to make Morton jealous. The only question remaining in this fracas is: why the heck do we still care? Isn't there a Dustin Diamond sex tape we can watch?

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Oh, yes, we went there. Actually, Phillip Swan of TVPredictions went there.

In a list of worst looking celebrities in HDTV, Rosie O'Donnell and Britney Spears led the hideous way.

Britney in the Car

Don't be shocked by the latter. Have you not seen any Britney Spears pictures recently? Now imagine those images in crystal clear, high definition ... exactly.

According to Swann,"no one enjoys the view of Rosie in high-def" and adds that she "looks like she uses a Brillo pad" to wash her face.

Teri Hatcher topped last year's roundup but falls to number three because "she's so thin that she could pass as a mother of four ... in Darfur."

Others on Swann's hit list include Spears ("Mrs. Kevin Federline is just 24, but she looks 34 in HDTV"), Burt Reynolds, whose "face looks like it's been Scotch taped back in place," and Madonna, who he says has cheeks that are "more caved in than a West Virginia coal mine."

Of course, some celebrities actually maintain their good looks under the spotlight of HDTV. Scarlett Johansson came to mind for Swann, for example.

Other television hotties making the cut were:

No, really, Martha Stewart.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

According to some celebrity look-alike submissions, a Britney Spears picture can look an awful lot like a Jessica Simpson picture.

Ouch. Sorry, Jess. It was really all in the dress. Bam Margera thinks you look good. Anyway.

The Bitch Be Back

That got The Gossip to thinking: What about the younger Spears sibling, Jamie Lynn? Who does she resemble? After looking through some Laguna Beach pictures, we found the answer:

Kristen Cavallari.

Don't worry, Kristen, this is a compliment. Jamie Lynn isn't constantly pregnant and/or married to any talentless garbage from the trailer park (no offense, Kevin Federline).

She's just young and cute. Sort of like how Dustin Diamond used to be before he starting making sex tapes.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Pop quiz, home making hot shot: You're feuding with Donald Trump and Rachael Ray ... you're a former convict ... and you have man-like hands.

What do you do to return to prominence?!?

Recovery Album Cover

You make a request for Eminem to appear on your television show, of course.

So goes the thinking of Martha Stewart; not because Slim Shady can knit or bake brownies - but because audience members love his music.

"We play his music during breaks to keep people very lively and they love him," Stewart told AP Radio in a recent interview.

"I would really love to have Eminem on the show," the 65-year-old lifestyle guru continued. "I don't think he knows that my demographic audience is so involved in Eminem music."

We don't think anyone did. What would 50 Cent say if his mentor appeared on a cooking program?

As for Stewart, she hopes Eminem can teach her a thing or two about music.

"I can't pick up a guitar and play a fantastic song. ... I cannot sit down at a piano and do that," she said. "I'm happy about my knowledge in so many different subjects relating to living, but in terms of specifics, I don't know if I'd be really very good on `The Young and the Restless.'"

We're not sure what that means, either. Is "Young and Restless" the excuse Jessica Simpson is using for cheating on Nick Lachey with Bam Margera?

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Oscar winner Russell Crowe said Tuesday he is "appalled" at rumours he was intent on garnering the lead role in film about late wildlife documentary maker Steve Irwin.

The Australian television network, ABC, quoted the New Zealand-born Crowe saying it was "awful that I have to deal with millions of people thinking I would dance on my friend's grave."

Perpetual Honor

Crowe, 42, was a friend of the famed Crocodile Hunter and recorded a eulogy in New York City that was played at last week's memorial service at Irwin's Australia Zoo near Brisbane.

Irwin died September 4 after being speared in the heart by a stingray while snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.

The ABC also quoted Crowe as saying that money was the factor behind Hugh Jackman replacing him as Nicole Kidman's screen partner in director Baz Luhrmann's as-yet untitled Outback film.

Crowe had been picked for the role, but Jackman was a last-minute replacement for the Gladiator star as rehearsals loomed.

"I just didn't want to work on that movie in the type of environment that was being created because of the needs of the budget," Crowe said. "I do charity work -- but I don't do charity work for major studios."

You bet he doesn't. He does whatever he damn well wants! Crowe had no comment as to whether he would throw a phone at Jackman the next time the two cross paths.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Hey, remember when Jessica Simpson was an innocent virgin bride?

Yeah. Neither do we.

Black and White Jessica

Following 18 months of rumors that she cheated on then-husband, Nick Lachey, at least one truth has supposedly come out: Jackass star, Bam Margera, did indeed have sex with Joe Simpson's daughter.

On Howard Stern's September 19 Sirius radio show, the prankster came clean about the oh so dirty evening. He even named the date: April 11, 2005. According to Bam, Jessica took him back to her parents' home in Los Angeles' Encino area.

"We were just drinking margaritas and stuff, and you know, from there …"

When Stern asked how a nude Jessica Simpson looked, Margera profoundly responded, "good." 

When asked by a reported from Us Weekly how many times he, well, bammed Simpson, Margera said just once.

"It was when her parents were away and Nick was away. It's not a secret."

But it is juicy! Especially when Crazy Joe Simpson shot back that he wanted to "beat the crap out of people who say things like this." Hmmm ... doesn't sound like a denial to the staff of The Gossip. Aside from spilling the banging beans, doesn't even sound like Bam was that raunchy about the night of passion.

The same can't be said for Simpson, however. During a recent interview in Allure magazine, the former virgin wore a rooster pendant and joked: "I don't have a c--k at the moment, so I wear one around my neck."

Okay then. Here's some advice then: Pass around this Jessica Simpson picture and we're pretty sure a yacht load of c--ks will line up at your door shortly.

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