by Mischalova at

Kids around the country are heading back to school. But they aren't the only ones being graded as summer turns to fall.

Multiple artists have released new albums over the last couple weeks. The critical folks at Entertainment Weekly have taken the time to grade each CD - and those from The Gossip figured it was our duty to present such estimations to readers everywhere:

  • Beyonce Nipple Slip?
  • Jessica Simpson Bustin' Out
  • The New Panel
  • Beyonce, B'day: B+. The magazine said you have "search far and wide to find a vocalist who sings with more sheer force ... [while obsessing] over the intersection of love and lucre ..."
  • Jessica Simpson, A Public Affair: C. EW accuses Jessica of basically ripping of the 80s, with tracks that sound eerily like Madonna and samples from bands such as The Cars. She does get points, however, for no Nick Lachey-like "confessionalism."
  • American Idol, Season 5 Encores: C. Describing a CD as "expertly crafted mediocrity" isn't exactly a recommendations. At least praise is given to Chris Daughtry for singing multiple parts on "Wanted Dead or Alive."

The publication stayed away from the most important grade of all, however: the booty battle between Beyonce and Jessica. What do you think?

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by Mischalova at

We can hear the chants already: Jerry! Jerry!

No matter how many times Jerry Springer trips all over himself during Dancing with the Stars, followers of his talk show will serenade the host with his name, per usual.

Jerry Springer Photo

The former mayor of Cincy recently talked about the show, beginning September 12 on ABC, with the Associated Press:

AP: A lot of people are commenting, "What, Jerry Springer's on that show?"
Springer: This is not a combo you would have put together. It wasn't the first name people thought of when they said, "Who'd be a good dancer?" ... When I met (partner, Kym Johnson), she said, "Well, what do you wanna work on?" And I said, "The only thing you gotta know is CPR." There's no one within 30 years of my age. There's no chance, unless they have an old-man division.

AP: Well, John O'Hurley won the first season.
Springer: For each one, they get one old guy. I'm the guy. I'm so honored! It's gonna be - everything hurts. My hair hurts.

AP: How rigorous is the dance training?
Springer: Well, understand: For me, standing is rigorous ... It's exercise, and I'm certainly not used to that. But so far, I'm breathing. I know at the end of each week - of each performance - the country gets to vote you off. Have they ever voted someone off in the middle of a dance, though?

AP: Not on this show.
Springer: I was hoping I could get stopped early.

AP: How do you think you'll stack up against Tucker Carlson?
Springer: Well, you know, he'll whip me. He'll whip my butt. Let's be honest. First of all, he's 25 years younger than I am. Secondly, he probably went to all these good Eastern schools. He probably went to the cotillion ball. I can't compete with Tucker ... Maybe I could just introduce the acts. Do you think that they'd let me do that?

AP: How did you get involved with this?
Springer: I don't know, someone was drinking apparently ... I guess the final thing was my daughter, Katie, is getting married in December. And so we talked it over and I said, "Wouldn't it be great if I knew how to dance at my daughter's wedding?" That I wouldn't step on her train or feet. So that's my goal. I hope I'll last long enough to learn how to dance for my daughter's wedding.

AP: How is your dance partner treating you?
Springer: She's just as nice as can be. And she's so tolerant ... It's like if you went to a nursing home and you did a square dance with people, you would keep on eye on them to make sure they're OK. There's a lot of "You OK?... You OK?"

AP: So, really, what's going to happen that first show?
Springer: Here's what I think's gonna happen. All right, so the dance starts and I miss a step - which is likely - then all of a sudden, you can't stop and start over. You gotta catch up because it's choreographed. So that's my nightmare. That I've missed a step, I'm trying to catch up and I never catch up to what she's doing. And I'm just out there flailing away.

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by Mischalova at

Actually, we can't confirm that fact. This may be one of those pop-up scripts.

Nevertheless, Kevin Federline is seen here studying his role in an upcoming episode of CSI. We're not sure what sort of bet producers of this hit show lost in order to hire Britney's bankrupt husband, but it must've been a doozy.

Kevin Federline Tats Photo

Extreme sarcasm alert: Those over at Grey's Anatomy must be shaking in their scrubs at the prospect of starring opposite K-Fed, now that both shows will air on Thursdays at 9 p.m.

It's like McDreamy vs. McDreamy.

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by Mischalova at

This is bad news, fellas, we know.

Despite not being her fiance (yet), it looks as though Vince Vaughn will remain the only person allowed to see the bare chest of Jennifer Aniston. This sad fact comes on the heels of a settlement between the actress and a paparazzo she had sued for snapping topless photos of her sunbathing last year.

Jennifer Aniston Topless

"It's a confidential settlement," Aniston attorney John Lavely said Friday. "The matter was amicably resolved."

In other words: Jen got to see photographer Peter Brandt's man parts. While Lavely refused to go into the specifics, Brandt released a statement saying the Friends star agreed to drop her lawsuit against him in return for his promise that he would never publish the images.

Aniston sued Brandt last December after he mailed out copies of the revealing photos to several celebrity magazine editors, along with shots of the actress canoodling with Vaughn.
In her legal documents, Jennifer claimed to have suffered "shame, mortification, hurt feelings, emotional distress, anger, embarrassment, humiliation, feeling of being violated and injury to her privacy and peace of mind," as a result of the photos.

Lindsay Lohan, conversely, asked for Brandt's number.

In his own defense, the photographer has no life. He also claimed he was only trying to cash in on photos of Aniston and her friend, as opposed to Aniston's, you know, "friends."

We're not sure if that's true or not - but we are positive that you can take a look at a free (fully clothed) Jennifer Aniston picture right here and now.

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by Mischalova at

We may be getting ahead of ourselves, but perhaps George Clooney won't feel so left out from his married Ocean's 13 co-stars for very much longer.

As Brad Pitt and Matt Damon discuss newborns on the set of the film, Clooney has reportedly developed a "close relationship" with co-star Ellen Barkin.

According to The London Mirror, this year's Oscar winner for Best Supporting Actor has been supporting Barken, 52, through a recent divorce. The actress has just ended her marriage with billionaire Ron Perelman.

  • The Clooney Death Stare
  • Ellen Barkin Photo

So she's got money!

But Clooney is no Heather Mills. It's safe to assume he'd be in this relationship for matters of the heart, not the wallet.

A source at the newspaper said: "George has been a shoulder to cry on for Ellen - he's helping her get over the divorce.

"She fancies him like mad and you can cut the sexual chemistry on set with a knife. He is so different from her ex husband, which she loves."

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by Mischalova at

Summer is coming to an end. No, not the character played by Rachel Bilson on The O.C. (although that show's days are also numbered).

We mean the actual season. As sun gives way to clouds and, eventually, snow, let's take a look at how some celebrities took advantage - or suffered through court-ordered punishments - of the warm months ...

Kate Hudson fought off rumors about an affair with Owen Wilson as August drew to a close - but at least she can splash her problems away when the need arises.

Kate Hudson Lunch Photo

What's a gorgeous, engaged actress to do before her wedding day arrives other than judge a dog contest? Elizabeth Hurley doesn't know.

Elizabeth Hurley Summer Dress

Boy George probably wishes he spent time rolling in the mud with pigs. Instead, the singer cleaned up street trash as part of a court mandate.

Boy George Service Photo
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by Mischalova at

The winners of an architectural design contest to help rebuild New Orleans has been announced by Brad Pitt.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

New York city architects Andrew Kotchen and Matthew Berman earned the honor. Pitt has been working with Global Green USA in hopes of creating environmentally friendly housing in a redevelopment project in the Lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans, a neighborhood hard hit by Hurricane Katrina.

At the news conference announcing the contest victors, Pitt shared more of his thoughts on the devasation:

"I am appalled and embarrassed that residents still do not have the opportunity ... to decide if they want to get back into their neighborhoods and recreate their communities... [But] I'm very, very excited about the result. There are a lot of great ideas that came across the table."

The handsome, helpful actor was joined by his lady friend, Angelina Jolie, and their kids. The couple vowed to spend a lot more time in the area.

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by Mischalova at

Donald Trump is a man of the people. The rich, rich people who are willing to kiss up to the mogul.

Evidently, Carolyn Kepcher no longer qualifies as such. The real estate tycoon and star of The Apprentice just fired his right-hand woman.

"What I did was a good thing for Carolyn," he told The New York Post. "I'm doing something that's best for her. She's a terrific person."

  • D. Trump Pic
  • Carolyn Kepcher Photo

Trump's terrific daughter, Ivanka, will take over Caroyln's role this season on the show.

While the newspaper reported that Kepcher is "devastated," she sounded upbeat in a statement that said they had "different visions for my future role in the company" and thanked Trump for being "an extraordinary boss and a great mentor."

Trump, however, claims Kepcher had turned into a "prima donna" who had become more caught up in promoting her own career than her work. Somewhere, Paris Hilton nodding in agreeance.

Wait, she has no work to ever speak of.

"Let's put it this way: She enjoyed the success of The Apprentice very much," Trump said.

The Donald, of course, is not one to tolerate self-promotion of any kind. Similarly, Ashlee Simpson hates when food goes to waste.

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by Mischalova at

Quick, who won the award for Best Rap Video at the MTV Video Music Awards this past week? No one remembers. Those moon men are forgotten about almost instantly.

But the celebrity fashion remains seared in our minds forever. Or at least a few days. Especially when the stars in question are looking at hot as Shakira and Fergie, below.

  • Fergilicious Legs
  • Shakira VMA Photo

Then there was Jessica Simpson. Apparently she's undergoing some changes in her life. There's rumored to be a new man - John Mayer - and definitely a new hair style. What do you guys think of it?

Jessica Simpson Black Dress
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