by Mischalova at

Follow all that? It's simple, really:

Kristin Cavallari used to date Brody Jenner. It was a Laguna Beach thing. Then, they broke up.

K-to-the-C

After that, Nicole Richie began tanging Jenner, although Brody had trouble distinguishing between Richie and the bed sheet beneath him.

Now, Cavallari is cozying up to Richie's ex-fiance, Adam Goldstein. Also known as DJ AM. Naturally.

On Tuesday night, the 33-year-old Goldstein arrived in the same car as the 19-year-old Cavalleri to a party. He hung back as she preened on the red carpet, tugging up her strapless dress.

"I don't want a Tara Reid moment," Cavallari said to photographers. "I'm not taped, that's the thing. That's why I'm pulling!"

Cavallari then claimed she was there with "um, my friend Charlene." Apparently Laguna Beach doesn't teach you how to lie well.

Goldstein eventually joined Kristin inside and the two were seen cuddling until 4 a.m.

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by Mischalova at

Thank you, Paris Hilton. From the bottom of our gossip-hungry hearts, thank you so very much.

Just as it seemed like our favorite targets were changing their ways - come on, Suri Cruise, what are you doing actually existing? - jumped drunkenly wobbled back into the spotlight last night when she was arrested in Hollywood and charged with driving under the influence.

Paris, Doug Pic


TMZ reported that LAPD officers noticed Paris driving her Mercedes McLaren SLR erratically at 12:31 AM. They pulled her over, believing she exhibited signs of intoxication. During a field sobriety test, Hilton blew a .08.

After Officer .08 zipped back up, Paris' blood-alcohol level was also measured at that amount, the minimum level for DUI in California.

Paris was arrested and booked at the LAPD Hollywood division. Police sources say Hilton didn't pull a Mel Gibson; she was cooperative. Kimberly Stewart, Rod Stewart's daughter, was also in the vehicle.

Nicky Hilton, Entourage star Kevin Connolly (her boyfriend) and Paris' publicist Elliot Mintz arrived at the Hollywood police station just before 2 AM PST. A short time later, Paris was released on her own recognizance and allowed to leave.

Cops took a booking photo, which and LAPD spokesperson says will not be released. An LAPD source would not confirm it Paris glammed it up for the camera, but revealed "It doesn't look like Nick Nolte."

Mintz and Hilton already have an excuse prepared: the tiny blonde was exhausted from filming a movie all day. And, therefore, her blood-alcohol level was high. Obviously.

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by Mischalova at

Nicole Richie can't hide out anymore. She's opening up instead.

On The Tyra Banks Show Tuesday, Richie addressed her former friend and current bitter enemy. No, not Paris Hilton. Food.

Harlow Smiles

"It's horrible, especially when you're trying to do something about it [her weight] and you have just so many eyes watching you and people talking about you," said the invisible waif.

With so much attention put on her Richie's lack of a body, the paparazzi pose a problem. They're always snapping pictures ... when they can actually see the possible new girlfriend of Brody Jenner, that is.

"It's summer, everyplace to go eat you obviously eat outside ... I'm not eating for the cameras, I live in LA, I do what I normally do," said Richie.

"What really bothers me is when I go to the beach because when I go to the beach, they want me in the swimsuit."

The alien has a point. Swimsuits at the beach? That's like Brooke Hogan without her father's coat tails to ride.

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by Mischalova at

That didn't take long.

Just a few weeks after getting married to Tom Mahoney, Desperate Housewives star Marcia Cross is pregnant.

Brangelina, Kids Pic

The baby is due in April.

"She's over the moon," Cross's Housewives co-star, Eva Longoria said. "I'm so excited for her. It's so beautiful to see her this happy and so in love."

That's sweet. But where's the MySpace announcement, Marcia? What would Diddy say about your low-key demeanor? Pronounce that pregagncy with pride, house wife!

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by Mischalova at

Great. Just as we were getting used to the idea that David Spade was somehow dating Heather Locklear, the couple has broken up.

"Heather is still going through a lot with Denise Richards and (estranged husband) Richie Sambora," a source said. "It's just too soon for her to get serious. They are still friends. It's not ugly."

Another source close to Spade says that the break "was a mutual decision."

Locklear, Heather

Right. Because the former Saturday Night Live star can get a woman such as Locklear any time he wants to. At least he can now see her in Melrose Place on DVD.

Locklear and Spade were first spotted smooching at an afterparty for the Showbiz Show in March â€" a month after Locklear filed for divorce from Sambora.

They now join a long list of couples that couldn't quite make it all the way through summer. Ashlee Simpson and Braxton Olita are no longer hot or heavy, for example.

And Kate Bosworth couldn't find the time in between not eating to keep dating Orlando Bloom.

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by Mischalova at

Beyonce has been on a world-wide tour of promotion in honor of her latest album, B'Day, dropping this week.

Incredibly enough, the CD hit stores on the singer's actual birthday. What a coincidence! So it only makes sense that the beauty was surprised on stage in Tokyo Monday.

A Cuddling Couple

Don't worry: no alligators were harmed during the making of this gigantic heart.

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by Mischalova at

He may not have brought his daughter with him, but that didn't make Patrick Demspey look any less (Mc)dreamy at the launch party for Grey's Anatomy Season Two on DVD this week:

Patrick Dempsey Photo

Of course, what would a Grey's Anatomy party be without the title character? Ellen Pompeo also showed up, although she wouldn't dish on whether Meredith and the beloved Dr. Sheperd finally give in to love and tempation when season three stars in two weeks.

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by Mischalova at

Okay, Kevin Federline wasn't exactly that profound when he appeared on The Ellen Degeneres Show today.

But the tatooed, abysmal musician did ask for sympathy. He said that being married to Britney Spears wasn't purely about romps in the sack like he thought it would be.

"I would be lying if I didn't say it was tough," Federline stated. "I think the expectation is real high for me you know, it's like you see my wife here she is this huge superstar everybody loves her, all of her music is just hits after hits and it's hard to compete."

K-Fed, V-Prince Smokin'

Let's see, did anyone ever have high expections for Federline? Anyone?

Of course, K-Fed hopes his new single "Lose Control" will be the next "Toxic." Nevertheless, the musician claims no rivalry exists at home - and Ellen managed to avoid the obvious retort that it is, indeed, VERY toxic.

"I don't see it as a competition you know? Maybe other people are putting it in that perspective, but to me it's not a competition ... I just have fun. I love rapping and making music period."

Phew. We were afraid he'd say "good" music. But sounds like even K-Fed is aware of his complete and utter lack of limited talent.

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by Mischalova at

Considering the fac that Katie Couric debuted on the CBS Evening News by finally exposing Suri Cruise to the world, we either give the anchor an A+ or an F-.

She answered long-term, nagging questions from The Gossip staff and its fans - but she also killed our favorite story.

Couric Pic

What did other news and celebrity fodder outlets have to say after which in metered markets emerged as the program's highest-rated broadcast since Feb. 23, 1998? Let's take a gander ...

- The New York Daily News' David Bianculli called Couric's maiden voyage "impressive," noting, "She was serious at the start, folksy at the end, and poised and professional throughout."

Interestingly, not a single one of those adjectives describes Jennifer Love Hewitt.

- "Katie was cool and confident [but] the format was uneven," one anonymous media expert said.

- Added another nameless critic: "[Couric] seemed to strike the right note at the start... but then started doing an intellectual striptease. What's up with that identity crisis?"

- The Hollywood Reporter echoed that last thought, calling the half hour "a news-flavored broadcast that consists of one or two news pieces, a few headlines and a host of soft features."

No way the publication was talking about Suri. That was a hard-hitting piece of reporting.

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by Mischalova at

Don't worry, fans, this season of Scrubs is gonna be REALLY funny.

Not that it would be possible for the shananigans of JD, Turk, Dr. Cox and the crew not to be hilarious, but star Zach Braff is reassuring anyway.

Zach Braff Smiling Photo

"We just finished the first episode and there's lots of prosthetic make-up in the first episode. Last year, we sort of got really silly and random, and we call it the stoner humor. We did a little more of that, and the fans loved it. We had our best ratings ever. The feeling is this will probably be the last year, so we're all just sort of going for it," Braff said while promoting his new film, The Last Kiss.

As far as guest appearances go, Braff is really hoping to get a former Arrested Development character on. So are we, Zach. So are we.

"The one person I want right now is David Cross. I wanted David Cross to come on as Tobias Funke ... I love that character, and the fact that character is over for good, I want him to at least have one more little life."

Besides working on Scrubs, Braff has been rumored to play Fletch in Fletch Won, which predates the first seven books in the series. It follows the early days of the title character's journalism career as a junior reporter in his 20's.

"I don't know. Bill Lawrence is definitely writing and directing Fletch, and there's a good chance I'll do it ... The books aren't as wacky and silly as the Chevy Chase movies were, so there was talk for awhile of going back to the books and not having that level of comedy in them, and Bill and I both disagreed.

"That's what made the movie so great. It's one of the most quoted movies ever, especially by guys. Why would you not tap back into what's funny about that?"

In the meantime, The Last Kiss opens on Friday, September 15.

Hey! According to rumors, that's the day after Britney Spears gives birth to her second baby. So that's nice.

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