Thank you, Paris Hilton. From the bottom of our gossip-hungry hearts, thank you so very much.

Just as it seemed like our favorite targets were changing their ways - come on, Suri Cruise, what are you doing actually existing? - jumped drunkenly wobbled back into the spotlight last night when she was arrested in Hollywood and charged with driving under the influence.

Posted in: Paris Hilton

Great. Just as we were getting used to the idea that David Spade was somehow dating Heather Locklear, the couple has broken up. "Heather is still going through a lot with Denise Richards and (estranged husband) Richie Sambora," a source said. "It's just too soon for her to get serious. They are still friends. It's not ugly."

Another source close to Spade says that the break "was a mutual decision."

Posted in: Heather Locklear

Beyonce has been on a world-wide tour of promotion in honor of her latest album, B'Day, dropping this week.

Incredibly enough, the CD hit stores on the singer's actual birthday. What a coincidence! So it only makes sense that the beauty was surprised on stage in Tokyo Monday.

Posted in: Beyonce

Okay, Kevin Federline wasn't exactly that profound when he appeared on The Ellen Degeneres Show today.

But the tatooed, abysmal musician did ask for sympathy. He said that being married to Britney Spears wasn't purely about romps in the sack like he thought it would be. "I would be lying if I didn't say it was tough," Federline stated. "I think the expectation is real high for me you know, it's like you see my wife here she is this huge superstar everybody loves her, all of her music is just hits after hits and it's hard to compete."

Posted in: Kevin Federline