Mock crucifixions, that is. Even the Material Girl has standards.
After hanging herself by a cross during her "Confessions" Tour, Madonna finally spoke up this week in defense of the act. Several religious groups, including the Roman Catholic Church and the Russian Orthodox Church, have complained that the scene was insulting, while NBC television is trying to decide whether to include it in a special to air in November.
"There seems to be many misinterpretations about my appearance on the cross and I wanted to explain it myself once and for all.
"It is no different than a person wearing a cross or 'taking up the cross' as it says in the Bible. My performance is neither anti-Christian, sacrilegious or blasphemous. Rather, it is my plea to the audience to encourage mankind to help one another and to see the world as a unified whole."
With the exception of birds, that is. Those should all die.
Madonna added: "I believe in my heart that if Jesus were alive today he would be doing the same thing."
Or he's be cursing the boobs of Ashlee Simpson and Jessica Simspon. One or the other, really.
The 48-year-old entertainer has made the crucifixion scene, in which she performs while suspended on a giant cross wearing a crown of thorns, the centerpiece of her show. Roman Catholic and Russian Orthodox church leaders aren't pleased.
In her statement, Madonna said the specific intent of the scene was "to bring attention to the millions of children in Africa who are dying every day (or) are living without care, without medicine and without hope. I am asking people to open their hearts and minds to get involved in whatever way they can."
A spokeswoman for NBC said earlier this week that the General Electric Co.-owned unit had not yet decided whether to include the scene in its November special.
Look, could it really be more offensive than this Kate Moss picture?