In Rolling Stone, John Mayer Talks Porn, Drugs - and NOT Jessica Simpson

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There's no relationship with Jessica Simpson.

That may be the first thing John Mayer wishes to pass along in an interview. But it certainly isn't the last. In a great interview with Rolling Stone, the quiet crooner reveals a sex and drug-riffic side of him not many knew existed.

John Mayer Topless

On porn:
"I bought myself a Playgirl once. I just loved the feeling that there was a porno you really, really weren't supposed to have … Not to say I wouldn't enjoy the energy of watching a guy and girl have sex. I think I'd vomit out of pure arousal. Have you ever seen a guy and girl have sex in person?"

On press interviews:
"I'm at a point right now where the more I talk, the more I'm going to say something in the next twelve months that's going to damage my career."

On Brangelina:
"Everyone thinks Brad Pitt has it great because he married Angelina Jolie. I think he has it terrible, because when Angelina Jolie is giving you a bl-w j-b, what do you tip your head back and think of to help you finish? You have nothing left â€" just Jesus on a polar bear in the middle of the snow saying, ‘You greedy motherf-cker, I've got nothing for you.'"

(Gossip note: We never thought of it that way. At all.)

On being on tour:
"I slept with, like, three girls a week."

On his private parts:
"I'm not worried about how small my penis is â€" I'm worried about how dark it is. I have a Dominican penis. My penis hit six home runs last year; my penis wears shoes without socks."

On the media:
"Everybody right now in the world of entertainment is a p-ssy. A p-ssy. They're all so sensitive. What the f-ck happened?"

We don't know how to response to any of this. So we're just gonna comment on this Jessica Biel picture instead. Her body is a wonderland.

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JOHN ROCKS!!!!!!!!!! He looks so innocent and yet he has this incredible sexual side that is reminicent of something I used to know. What a turn on! I think I have go change my panties.

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maybe he meant "Playboy"?

John Mayer Biography

John Mayer With Long Hair John Mayer is a singer, songwriter, guitar player and Grade A douchebag hailing from Connecticut. The cheesy musician has become a major... More »
Born
Birthplace
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Full Name
John Clayton Mayer

John Mayer Quotes

The feathered cut projects an attitude of ease and quiet confidence that seems to have all but eluded our generation. This is a work in progress, and as my hair grows longer it will serve to become a more stirring and poignant statement.

John Mayer [on haircut]

To adults who will vote for him, Barack Obama represents a return to prosperity. To the youth, he represents an introduction to it.

John Mayer
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