He's not blonde. He doesn't straddle every guy with two feet. And he's not unnecessarily using up oxygen from the planet.

So stop comparing Zach Braff to Paris Hilton!

The Scrubs star was on The Late Show with David Letterman this week - and he wasn't his usual jolly self. Braff seemed upset at how the tabloids have made him out to be a heavy party-goes since the public break-up with Mandy Moore.

"I lead a pretty boring life - I sit at home, I'm on the Internet, I eat cereal - that's a typical night for me," Braff said.

"Here's how the whole thing works. I actually decided, ‘Maybe I'll go out. It's the summertime, I'm off from Scrubs.' So I go out a little bit and they write all about me being this crazy party guy, like I'm Paris Hilton or something. I'm like the male Paris Hilton."

Perish that thought, J.D. Unless you have a sex tape of you answering the phone while getting it on with Turk, you're nothing like that hotel bimbo.

Braff continued to lament the nature of some in the media:

"So then I'm like, ‘I don't like that. I don't like being in the tabloids, so I'm just going to stay home. I'm going to be a homebody, I'm going to write'. A week later a tabloid comes out with - ‘Zach Braff Will Not Leave His Home!' You can't win! I just gave up on it."

The man makes a good point. But The Gossip has just one thing to say on the matter: Zach Braff Cannot Win!

Read all about it here.