No, it's not what you think. Everybody, please calm the f*ck down and return to your homes. Nicole Richie is doing fine.

Well, kind of. Much as we would like to report that Nicole's eating disorder has become public knowledge in the worst sort of way, it appears as if the attractive and talented young actress singer socialite alien goblin was merely celebrating a friend's birthday in West Hollywood, Calif., last week when she got sh!it-faced and puked on the floor of a bar.

"Nicole puked right on the floor, like right in the middle of the club, everyone saw," a source dished to PerezHilton.com.

Apparently, though, Nicole swears by the boot-and-rally philosophy.

"But I guess she didn't care. She kept partying," the source continued. "She loves tequila. But you know, she's so small - and she probably didn't eat anything that day. So you know, she probably had a couple shots and it just happened. She was just having a good time."

So she's no Kate Bosworth. Still, do the math, people:

Getting wasted + dropping a few pounds = TIGHT!!!!