Lindsay Lohan has gone from feeling sorry for herself to feeling sorry for those terroristic terrorists that dare to cross her path.
That's right, the party-going tramp is sick of the social scene in the States and wants to visit the troops in Iraq, especially if she's accompanied by New York Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton.
"I've been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long," Lohan tells Elle magazine in its September issue, after she was asked if she had any big plans for next year. "Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous."
But do you think L-Squared is scared? Pishaw!
"I'm not afraid of going," she says. "My security guard is going to take me to a gun range when I get back to L.A., and I'm going to start taking shooting lessons."
Now THAT would result in some shock and awe in the war on terrorism. After all, redheads are fiery!
Of course, Lohan has aspirations aside from stopping violence in the Middle East and orally servicing every member of the army. She dreams bigger.
"I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did (during the Korean War), when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be."
Did she say pinup or complete and utter failure as a human being? Because the second one was assured a long time ago.
Elsewhere in the Elle interview, Lohan says she's never had plastic surgery ("I've never done anything") and isn't using cocaine ("I'm not. There you have it. It's not true").
But, wait, were we duped?!? Lohan went on to say she does like to fool with the press (she was 40 minutes late to the Elle interview) and tells reporters "things that aren't true â€¦ just because it's fun."
So, is that true? Or was Lohan lying about lying? Is she actually is high on cocaine right now? Probably.