Ashlee Simpson Joins Stage Cast of Chicago (!?)

The worthless Simpson sister is reportedly joining R&B star Usher -- who is currently playing the role of Flynn on Broadway -- as the latest pop star to take a role in the musical "Chicago." But, unlike Usher, Ashlee Simpson will suck royally do her stint in London instead of N.Y.

Jessica's sickly little sis is said to have started rehearsal this week for the role of Roxie Hart, the part Renee Zellweger filled in the big screen adaptation. Her first official performance is slated for October. Tickets are (and should always be) available.

This is just one of several major changes in Ashlee's life, including a well publicized plastic surgery rampage makeover. The burning question gracing every tabloid cover at the news stands and the Internets is how much of that makeover involved sharp knives and anesthesia.

Ironically, Ashlee will be singing about what it means to be a celebrity and what it's like to have everyone analyzing your body.

One of the verses the character Roxie belts out is:

I'm gonna be a celebrity
That means
Somebody everyone knows
They're gonna recognize my eyes
My hair... My teeth... My boobs... My nose

Sure thing. Everyone recognizes Ashlee's nose and chin -- or at least they used to, before the talentless hypocrite had herself mangled.