What does Paris Hilton's bed look like? Only a few thousand men have ever been lucky enough to find out... but any remaining mystery is about to be put to rest. In case you haven't had the honor (or the lights were off when you were doing her) you can see -- and own the thing!

That's right, it's being auctioned off, and is currently up for sale online. Opening bid: $1,500. Unfortunately (wait, check that... very fortunately), the singer and party-animal heiress isn't part of the deal.

Posted in: Paris Hilton

Hey, Braxton Olita -- we saw your girlfriend today. She's featured in Crack Whore Magazine (the online edition)! What what!!! **fist pump** We're just kidding. Not really. Have you seen the girl who used to be Ashlee Simpson lately? What the hell has happend to her?

Sure, she never had a shred of talent, but she was Jessica's little sister and cute enough at least. Now that she's become an anorexic plastic surgery fiend, the staff members at T.H. Gossip can only shake their heads in disdain. Check out this ghastly pic we found today, not in the aforementioned CWM (which doesn't really exist, FYI, though it would be an awesome read), but in People. She's giving Kate Moss a run for her money!

Posted in: Ashlee Simpson

So, Laguna Beach last night? OMG. There sure was a ton of -- for lack of a better word -- drama. Let's break it down.

Tessa seems like she's over the whole Chase thing, at least while the dude is off tending to band emergencies or whatever he does. Aren't these kids in school? Does no one in the city of Laguna Beach have to do anything a normal person does? Doesn't he know his band is not good? Whatever.

Posted in: Laguna Beach