U.S. Will Nix Penny Over Federline's Disgusting, Unfortunately Still-Living Body

It appears that Kevin Federline is getting his act together and lobbying for a noble cause. Well, perhaps not the first part. Or the second.

Regardless, the gold-digging, white trash rapping aspirant is joining billionaire Virgin mogul Richard Branson to campaign for "penny awareness," according to a press release.

Yes, we're serious.

The U.S. Government is debating whether or not to elimate the shiny copper one-cent piece of currency. And Federline feels compelled to try and stop this. Why? Because it represents his career earnings? Because he can probably steal a few pennies while he's there to pay off his credit card debt? We can't say.

In any case, Federline and Branson will be stopping by Times Square in New York City to highlighting the value of the penny and sign the "Save the Penny" petition, which will be presented to lawmakers in Washington D.C.

They will also be collecting pennies for charity to show that the penny, alone or collectively, carries weight and makes a difference.

This stunt smacks, at least to the Gossip, of a stunt by K-Fed to improve the public's perception of him. Which makes sense to a degree. With his current reputation as a backup dancer who can't dance, and a mooch who constantly impregnates people, he can only go up.

But does anyone really care if the penny is eliminated? Would it impact society negatively whatsoever? Who really wants to devote time to this? People are dying of hunger and disease. Tens of thousands are still struggling to recover from last year's hurricane season. Endangered species are suffering extreme habitat loss. Screech Powers is about to be homeless. Isn't there a more worthwhile cause? You people are idiots.

And why is Richard Branson associating with this guy in any way? Federline is a disease in his own right. It's only a matter of time before Branson is hit up for money. Let's just hope he makes K-Fed sign a prenup.